I don’t know why, but I just thought of this - this year was the 20th year of Christmas without Daddy (my grandfather who adopted me when I was 2). It was the 18th year of Christmas without Suzi (my birth mother). And it was the 3rd year of Christmas without Mom (my grandmother who adopted me when I was 2). I think the last one is the one that bothers me the most. The other two have had time to wear off, but Mom….she was the one person that had been constant. Even after I’d gotten to the point where she actually had to tell me to go buy my own presents because she could never figure out what to get me (twice she got me high speed internet access for my birthday), she was always there. Oh I know she’s still with me in spirit, but still. I miss her terribly. I still tend to wake up out of a dead sleep because I’d swear I heard her holler for me.

I guess that’s something that’s just going to take some time to get over.

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